Couch Find Fail, Furniture Safari Win

Mat and I are in the process of locating a good but affordable couch. The one we had in Brooklyn was something my mom found for $50 in the newspaper and it lasted us for 3.5 years so I figured we could do the same here. Wrong. Craigslist yielded people asking up to $10,000 for used couches (because I'd love to pay a used car's worth of money on something a bunch of strangers put their asses on). There is a used furniture store near our house that has been in business for over 100 years so I figured I'd give it a shot. While some of the pieces were extraordinarily beautiful antiques, some of them were...well...strange to say the least. Here are some of those eye catching gems:

I honestly don't even know what the hell this is. It was like an arm chair but it could fit maybe 1.5 people. So I guess if you have a person and maybe a dog? Or a person and the ventriloquist dummy whoever would own this chair definitely has.

This is a broken church organ, for all of the broken church organ enthusiasts. 

This looks like something out of a cartoon. Who would even own this?

If you're into fancy lamps that look like your creepy uncle was in a local production of the Three Musketeers, you are in luck. There was a pair of these and they're ready for their forever home.

I don't know about you, but I always felt like what my home was missing was a receptacle for holy water.

It's like an African safari in your very own home, but with more Doritos and regret!

I wasn't aware that wheelchairs were considered furniture but what the hell, I guess.

This is an old dentist's chair. It was among the kitchen chairs, because I'd definitely put those in the same category.

I don't think words are even necessary for this one.

Ding ding! It's the double decker trolly of furniture regret!

These are some weird lamps. On the left, there is just a cage filled with what looks like yard work and on the right, there is a yellow ladies hat a la beloved children's book character Madeline. 

Obviously, this wasn't furniture but there was an oddly high number of loose, living birds in the furniture store, because nothing makes furniture sell like bird shit all over it.

So as you can see, I did not actually get any couch shopping done. However I did find something even better and that is...actually I didn't find anything better. I wasted like half an hour taking pictures of awful home decor oddities and then took a nap. Whoops.