Uh Oh!

I have moved! My blog is now being updated at BK to LA on Tumblr.

Freaking Out & Making Amends

Being mostly alone in a new city gives me a lot of time to think about things. I do a lot of thinking normally but having so much alone time has caused me to reach new levels of over-thinking and over-analyzing. One interesting thing that this has caused me to want to do is "make amends" with everyone I have ever "wronged."

I put the word "wronged" in quotation marks because as an empath, I am overly sensitive to every single thing I ever say or do to anyone so oftentimes, my definition of wronging someone is a regular person's idea of normal interaction. For example, I sent someone a page long, barely lucid email at 6AM apologizing for losing touch when we were 14. I had been wracked with guilt for over 12 years and his response, in summary, was, "Oh, I thought it was my fault. No harm done." I have a lot of nightmares about friendships I feel I had caused to end and bad things I'm convinced I'd done and for some reason, I have a hard time letting them go, no matter how old or ridiculous they probably are.

Of course, in apologizing, I spend the whole day freaking out as I wait for a response. I have gotten people admitting that they were angry with me, which is hard, but it comes with the territory and I absolutely deserve it if I did something wrong. I can only hope that those people can forgive my wrongdoings because I am truly sorry. However, 99.9% of the time, the response is "I didn't even notice." This causes me to wonder if maybe I need to be more okay with the fact that not everyone is scrutinizing my behavior all the time and that I really need to calibrate how necessary some of these apologies are.

In the meantime, be on the lookout for a page long email at 4AM about how sorry I am regarding that one time I canceled getting coffee with you because I had the swine flu three years ago.

Sophie, a cat who I owe many apologies to for tap dancing poorly while holding her.

Withdrawing

I am, for the first time in 10 years, off of antidepressants. This is not by choice; I have no health insurance. I was recently turned down for Medi-Cal because I'm not pregnant or blind (although it is nice to know that I'm one drunken mistake away from being able to see a pulmonologist). If you've ever wondered what it's like being off antidepressants after relying on them for so long, imagine the shittiest mood you've ever been in hovering about a foot over you threatening to descend at any point. Also, nausea and headaches and mild crying at weird intervals come and go incessantly. The last time I stopped antidepressants, it was too sudden and I went through the same withdrawal symptoms that a heroin addict does. Have you ever seen the movie Ray? Remember when he was trying to kick his habit cold turkey and he started sweating and screaming and having horrifying nightmares? That but without getting an Oscar at the end of it.

This time, I knew it was coming so I slowly lowered my dosage bit by bit until I just stopped altogether. I still get headaches and nausea and the urge to vomit while passing out while just dying altogether. Last night, my nightmares were so scary that my cat, Sophie, came and sat on top of me like a furry security blanket so I would have something real to relate to when I stopped thinking I was dead. I feel like I'm recovering from the longest bender of my life and in a way, I am. 10 years is a long time to be medicated.

I did pretty well on medication. I rarely took anything personally and I coped with things better. I was still a twisted oddball (no medication will ever change who someone is at their core) but my serotonin levels were closer to normal and I didn't cry over episodes of Rocko's Modern Life. Those pills saved my life and it's strange being without them. When I do get insurance, I will have to consider whether or not I want to go back to them. As of right now, I just want to down an entire bottle of Prozac and listen to Joni Mitchell's Greatest Hits but when everything settles down, it'll be something I'll really have to think about.

I know that at least a couple people who might come across this will wonder why I don't just get a job with health insurance. I'm really happy that you don't have to live in the real world where things suck. I am doing my best and hopefully something will come along soon. Or I'll just marry my boyfriend when he gets insurance because I'm finally okay with my lack of any desire for a wedding despite the fact that society says I'm supposed to salivate over picking floral arrangements. I'm just not there and I don't think I ever will be.

I don't mean to sound like I'm whining. I'm not. I just thought I'd give you a little insight into what happens to people who go their entire adult life dependent on medication when suddenly it just isn't there anymore. It's doable but it's uncomfortable and strange.

Now, if you don't mind, I am going to go watch Matilda for nostalgic purposes and cry the whole time. I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving. Here's a picture of a Venice Beach sunset to perk things up a bit.

Back and Forth

It's difficult to really say how well I am adjusting to LA. Some days, I really feel good and other days, I feel homesick for New York like crazy. A pen pal is visiting NYC and asked me for some suggestions of places to visit. I almost couldn't make myself shut up. I just named everything I could think of and with them, came a flood of all the memories I've stuck them with. Another friend on Twitter asked if I could recommend any obscure bands and I had none I could think of from here but I had dozens and dozens from NY that I had stories about going to see or hanging out with.

It's things like that that are the hardest for me. I remember things so well that it's almost as if I could feel them in my hands but really, I'm thousands of miles away. My Brooklyn apartment belongs to someone else now. Another person is filling my old job. Friends are hanging out without me. That is the reality of it all and it's hard to come to terms with. Life goes on without you and that's the way it always will be. We like to coddle ourselves by believing that we are an important tool that keeps the machine running but maybe we're really just those useless extra screws that come with all IKEA furniture "just in case."

I don't want you to take this the wrong way. This isn't some manifesto for lifelong misery or a desperate attempt at fishing for reassurance. I'm just saying that you can be fine and not fine at the same time. That's where I am in this process. I'm fine and not fine.

The Most Ridiculous Job Interview Of All Time

Yesterday, I applied for a job as a front desk receptionist at an acupuncture clinic because my college degree makes me suitable for nothing. I worked as a front desk receptionist at a mental health clinic in New York City and I was pretty good at it so I figured I could try for it again. I immediately received an email saying they were having interviews today at 3PM so I RSVP'ed and made my way down there this afternoon. It was literally the most unprofessional interview I have ever been on in my life and I have been on some bad ones.

There were about a dozen other candidates waiting to be seen. They scheduled everyone at the exact same time, which is something you never do because people tend to get aggressive when surrounded by competition. There were not enough seats for everyone so the poor receptionist was pulling chairs from wherever she could find them and even had to give up her own seat. 3PM comes and goes. The couple who own the clinic have not gotten there yet. 3:05. 3:10. Finally at 3:15, the husband shows up. He blames his wife's lateness on their 2-year-old. Between the two of them, they couldn't get one child in a car together? I can't even imagine what a horror show this child must be. The husband answers questions from the applicants. One woman is wearing jeans and another is eating Skittles while waiting for their interviews.

The wife finally gets here around 3:30, which is when we were told the interview would be over by. She makes a poor apology, blames the child, and then says that the child is so difficult that all the neighbors know about her drama. I pity them and pray they can afford boarding school because I can't see them surviving her teen years. Now comes the actual "interview." We are all told to introduce ourselves and tell them everything they need to know about ourselves in 30 seconds IN FRONT OF THE OTHER APPLICANTS. It was probably the most degrading, humiliating, and awkward way you can possibly interview people. The reason they did it this way? They got "so many applications" that they "couldn't possibly" go through them all.

When I was leaving my last job, we got over 1,000 resumes regarding my position. My boss picked 50 people out of the applications she liked and met with each of them personally, separately, at specified times, without the applicants running into one another. Technically, you could possibly do it if you wanted to take the time. Of course, who wants to put all that effort into picking the person who is the first impression of their business?

Then we were told to walk to our cars "really slowly" because they would be calling us right away and could come back then and there for part 2. I did not get called. I do not care, although I was sort of hoping for a call so I could tell them I wasn't interested because of how unprofessional they were. Luckily, I live within walking distance so I wasn't really stranded somewhere waiting for a call that never came. I walked right home, made dinner, and felt bad that I was never good at math because accountants make bank.

I suppose I'll start another cover letter. I hope everyone in New York is staying warm.

Fighting Off the Urge to Nap

It's about 4PM and I have done almost nothing all day. I have this habit of drinking coffee, showering, getting dressed, putting on makeup, getting all my stuff ready to leave the house, and then just deciding to just sit back down and not go anywhere. I'm probably going to end up eating a bunch of carbs for lunch and then passing out until dinner. Try not to be impressed with my Monday schedule.

I am trying to learn how to cook. So far, I have made fettuccine alfredo, turkey chili, and fancy salads. Tomorrow, it will be slow cooker mac & cheese. I know my menu doesn't sound that impressive but I literally have cooked twice in my entire life and once it was an utter failure. I did get Mat to eat broccoli, though, which is pretty impressive considering he only eats like 2 vegetables.

I got to hang out with that cute dog I posted a picture of a while ago. Her foster family ended up adopting her and they brought her to my boyfriend's office. They also brought me free lunch, which was freaking awesome.

She is really small and really well behaved. It's incredible that a dog who is only 4-months-old and was so badly treated is so calm. Her new name is Truffles and she is very happy and loved now. If you're interested in fostering, adopting, or donating to wonderful dogs like her, check out Angel City Pits.

I've been doing my best to crochet a baby blanket for my friend. It's going to take a while, since hardly any of it is done, and baby blankets are tough. The stitches have to be super small with no holes so the baby doesn't get its fingers stuck in it. Luckily, the baby isn't expected until the end of March and I don't have a job yet. I have 3 feet of length left to go and I literally have done about an inch over the past 2 days. None of my other friends had better get pregnant until after this is finished.

It is still super hot in Los Angeles, as you can see by a neighbor's brilliant front yard setup. I wish I had a front yard, too.

It's 90 degrees today, it was 85 yesterday, and it'll be in the 80's again tomorrow. It's weird getting used to the fact that it gets dark early the same way it does in NY but it's still really warm. My brain is having a hard time understanding it. I have always had a hard time with seasonal depression so I'm not sure if I should be worried about it this year or not. I'll definitely be getting more sun as it's warm enough to be outside but there is still less daytime in the winter, regardless of the weather. If I start making blog entries with depressing song lyrics from bands I liked in high school as the title, you'll know how it turned out.

To conclude, here is a picture of some dessert we had last night at DK's Donuts in Santa Monica. They are called Maple Bacon Bliss and they are basically just a pound of sugar with bacon. 

I couldn't really taste the bacon or even the maple because the sweetness was so overwhelming but they were fun to try. My personal favorite thing there was called a Canadian creme donut, which was a chocolate frosted donut filled with homemade whipped cream. For the most part, I promise, I do normally eat fairly healthily but this weekend, I enjoyed plenty of grease, fat, and sugar, while blaming it on my period. I don't feel bad about it, either. I deserve to get one perk out of bleeding profusely from my genitals. It might as well be a few donuts.

This weekend, I will be taking a bicycle trip and hopefully I will somehow motivate myself to get to the gym we are paying for but have yet to visit. No promises, though.

Remember to get out and vote tomorrow! You have no excuse not to. If you don't know your polling place, here is a good site to Find Your Fucking Polling Place. Have a good afternoon!

Guacamole, Insurance, and Sandy

Good evening. It's after midnight and I ate way too much guacamole so I'm just lying in bed and waiting for the itis to set in. We got some fancy new flannel sheets on sale at City Target so I'm very comfy.

It's nice to be able to breathe. My health insurance hasn't gone through yet and my asthma has been getting worse as the air gets cooler. I wasn't taking my daily meds as they are really expensive and then last night, I woke Mathew up at 3AM, in tears, because I couldn't breathe and my rescue inhaler wasn't working. We finally had to give in and pay $270 for the maintenance inhaler. There is no generic of Advair so I'm basically screwed until I get insurance. It's hard knowing that both Mat and I went to college (and Mat to law school) and did what we were "supposed to do" to be successful and I'm still wheezing throughout the night because I can't afford medication. I'm telling you now: LEARN A TRADE.

I haven't mentioned the hurricane yet, I know. My family and friends are doing okay. Luckily, no one I know personally lost anything of much value. There were many lives lost, however, and many homes destroyed. I will be donating to the The Red Cross and I suggest you do as well. If you are in New York or New Jersey, volunteers are needed as well as food and clothing donations. I can get that information for anyone who would like it. If you can give blood, that is also needed. The last time I tried, I almost passed out and the nurse made fun of me so I will just be donating all the other stuff.

Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend. GO VOTE ON TUESDAY! Be safe and stay warm.

EDIT: I got rid of the paragraph where I was angry and flipping out. Look, I had cramps. Leave me alone. Just donate to the Red Cross. That's what's important right now.

Hurricane Sandy

I hope everyone on the East Coast is staying inside. I will be sending a million good thoughts your way.

Quick Update

I hope your Saturday is off to a good start, if it has started at all. I am bored and awake with allergies and am sweating for no reason I can surmise. My cat woke me up yesterday by poking me in the eye and then sneezing in my face twice so it's been a wonderful 24 hours for hygiene.

Things are going okay in Los Angeles lately. I hung out with a friend I made at my book club two days in a row, which was nice. The first night, we walked around the Third Street Promenade and got some dinner and wine. The night after, we went to see one of the editors of The Onion read from The Onion Book of Known Knowledge at the Barnes and Nobles along with an actress friend of hers. There was this super creepy guy sitting next to us and at some point during the Q&A segment, he started his statement with, "You can use this joke if you want." I didn't hear the joke but I'm certain it wasn't funny and just really awkward. He also didn't actually ask proper questions. One was, "It's weird that some people think your stories are real. I never thought your stories were real. I can tell by reading them." Aside from all the weirdness that the poor editor was dodging, I did get a chance to ask where all the pictures of their columnists like Jean Teasdale and Smoove B come from. They are all taken from a Wisconsin community college yearbook from the late 80's. That was probably the best answer I could have ever hoped for.

I've also been hanging out with a few of my neighbors occasionally and I made tentative coffee plans with someone I've never actually met. That's probably super weird but she's the significant other of one of Mat's coworkers so I'm fairly sure she doesn't plan on selling my teeth. I never thought I'd ever be asking people I don't know to hang out but that is where I find myself. When I was 15, I promised myself that I would never reach the level of loneliness that I had the summer between 9th and 10th grade and I've kept that promise, no matter how painstakingly awkward making friends as an adult can feel. Besides, I'm pretty sure everyone in LA is just as desperate for human contact as I am. I'd be shocked if someone DIDN'T want a new friend.

My fall allergies have been giving me headaches and stomach cramps so I haven't felt like doing much. If things are better by tomorrow, I might go hang out with some cats and dogs at an animal shelter. Sunday is my first improv class! I am already thinking of really awful names for a future improv group. I'm channeling Michael Scott as best I can.

Here is a picture of a lovely little pup that a super cool family is fostering. She is available for adoption out here in Los Angeles and if I was able to have a dog in my apartment, I would have snatched her up days ago. If anyone is interested, I will point you in the right direction.

Have a great weekend.

PIC OVERLOAD!!!

It has been a long time since I've been on here. I am really bad about keeping up with things. I'm one of those people who abandons their New Years resolutions by 3PM on January 1st. I will have to make a concerted effort to be better about it. In the meantime, I will let you know what has been going on over the past week or so because that's what I took pictures of.

Last Saturday was the League of Legends Season 2 World Championships, which was really cool. I don't really know that much about the game yet but it was still a lot of fun. I really wanted to catch a t-shirt from the t-shirt cannon but since I was sitting in the Rioter section, they didn't shoot them at us. Maybe next time. A big congrats to TPA, who probably don't read this.

Last Sunday, October 14, was my birthday. At first, I was really down about how I'd probably be spending it alone as all my friends are back on the East Coast. However, my super amazing friends, Dana and Dennis, came to visit from Brooklyn ON MY BIRTHDAY. It was ridiculously awesome. They spent the day with Mathew and me. We went to the La Brea Tar Pits, which was everyone's first time there aside from Mat. I definitely recommend going at least once (but not into the actual museum because it's like $12 a person and I am super cheap). The Pits smell like oil and have statues of prehistoric elephants drowning to their death, which is total non-horrifying fun for the entire family. Here is an example:

We also went to the Beverly Center, which is the big mall in Beverly Hills. It is also where all of the stereotypes about women in Beverly Hills truly come to life. I went to Sephora and there was literally a line of women in short skirts, high heels, and little dogs. I have no idea how any human being can possibly shop like that but I'm sure they were looking at me (if they even noticed me) thinking, "Why is this 12-year-old boy in Sephora without his mom?" We had dinner at a "gastro pub" (God, that term is awful) up the block from my house and it was delicious. All-in-all, it was a lot of fun. Thank you to Dana and Dennis for making my birthday awesome!

Also, thank you to my friends who sent me gifts here in Los Angeles. It was really nice to feel like people remembered me. You guys are so great and I love you!

It hasn't been easy to come out on my own with no friends or family here. It can get rather lonely but I've been meeting a lot of people. I joined a book club and made a friend there, I am starting improv classes next week (thanks to a generous birthday donation from my lovely parents), and I have joined a Facebook group of the significant others of people Mat works with. We spent the day yesterday on a tour of LA with them that his company put together. It was really awesome. We went to the Walt Disney Concert Hall, ate at Hard Rock Cafe, and checked out the Getty Museum. It was really incredible of them to do that for us. Here are some photos of the trip:

This is the Lillian Disney fountain at the concert hall. It is made out of expensive dutch porcelain. Sadly, Lillian Disney died before she could see it and hopefully before she could see the hideous airport bathroom carpet used throughout the whole building.

Here is a view of Downtown Los Angeles from a balcony at the Concert Hall. It was pretty overcast, which was really weird and unnerving because after only 2 months here, I already forgot what rain is.

This is a view of the freeway from the Getty Museum tram. In order to get from the parking lot to the museum, you have to take a tram that goes up through hills and the view is incredible. I have no idea if this view is of the east or the west. Your guess is as good as mine.

Here is another amazing view from the cactus garden at the Getty Museum. Obviously, you cannot go down and see all of the cacti up close because you can possibly die if you fall on one but I thought this was a good second option.

The sky just looks really cool in this pic.

A cute bridge.

 The centerpiece of the Getty Museum garden. I think it might be a crop circle but I also think I'm probably wrong about what it is.

A pretty unimpressive picture of the Hollywood sign but whatever. If you've seen movies, you know what it looks like.

Here is a picture of Mat and me at the cute bridge. I am only posting it because I rarely take a photo I don't think I look fat in and here's one.

The trip was really awesome and I made new friends who I am making plans to hang out with. Also, one of Mat's coworkers just moved directly across the street and she invited me over for sangria and crafts so major score.

I still miss Brooklyn and I'm not entirely at home in LA yet but I am feeling a bit more optimistic about it. I am applying for jobs and as soon as I get one, I will start saving up for a trip back to NYC. Hopefully I can celebrate someone's birthday with them there, too.

I hope you're all having a great weekend and I'll try to take more pictures and update on a more frequent basis. Bye!

I Still Exist

Sorry to anyone who reads this regularly for the absence. I've been pretty sick with a really bad cold (and quite possibly a sinus infection). I haven't been sick in a while and this had been a rough one. I have never had such bad sinus pressure and pain. I can't sleep at night and I have to take like 4 hot showers a day to clear my sinuses out. It's 2AM and I took some Sudafed so I'm as high as a kite and figured I'd update my blog. I apologize for any lack of humor here but I am literally barely lucid.

We finally got a new laptop so I can actually use the space bar.  It's not a MacBook because I am sadly not hip enough (or rich enough) to purchase one. Besides, it doesn't run League of Legends correctly so it wasn't an option for Mat. We went to Fry's Electronics to get our computer, printer, and etc. It was an experience. Mat was really excited to bring me there because he grew up buying all of his computer gear there. We rented a Zipcar for a few hours on Saturday to go since it's 2 hours each way if we go by bus. It was enormous and had every sort of electronic product. It was like Best Buy but more customer service friendly. We found a laptop and printer within 15 minutes and we were ready to go. We ended up going to Best Buy and buying Bridesmaids and Despicable Me on DVD, which is awesome, and we bought table coasters at Homegoods. They have chickens on them.

Afterwards, we went for authentic Mexican food, which was my first experience with LA Mexican food. I must admit that it was delicious and way better than anything I'd ever had in New York. There were a lot of people there but it was totally worth the wait. I don't remember the name of the restaurant. If anyone is interested, I will let you know.

Some great news: A good friend of mine is pregnant and I am really excited. I know that I often talk about how I hate babies and think that children are terrible but I think it's because I don't really know many babies or children personally. This is the first time someone that I am close to is having a baby and I am really stoked to have a reason to crochet/knit baby things. I completely geeked out when she called me to tell me and I am nothing but ecstatic for her and her husband. However, I have absolutely no plans to have children of my own for a long time and the thought of it makes me violently ill so don't get any ideas. Besides, no wedding band equals no babies. The Jewish guilt that my dad would throw on me might actually kill me. Telling him that I was moving in with my boyfriend alone almost gave me an ulcer.

Anyway, here are pictures of a chicken coaster and 5 organic avocados that people were selling on their lawn for $1 each. I'm hoping that they ripen by the end of the week so I can make guacamole for the neighbors.

So...Much...TV

Our TV got here this week. It is incredible. It's 47" and it has both Netflix and Amazon Instant built in, which is good because I can't find the power source for the XBOX. I have literally been watching Pawn Stars for like 3 days straight. I just can't turn it off. I'm actually relieved that I'm almost done watching all of the episodes on Netflix. When they start adding newer seasons, I won't be leaving my apartment for like 2 weeks.

I took Rocky to the vet on Monday and got him microchipped. I always worry that if he got out, he would follow someone home and they would try to keep him. It was only $30 so it's not so bad. The vet wants me to start giving him Claritin for his allergies, which is hilarious. My cat will be on more expensive allergy medicine than I am. Good thing I clipped those Claritin coupons from the Sunday paper. Wow. That was probably the most elderly woman-like thing I've ever written.

I don't have much else to say. Here's a pic of Rocky and our new TV.

Shut Up & Drive

Our friend left his car in our parking spot while he is out of town so we have a car for the week. Yesterday marked the first time I drove in California. I kept freaking out and at first I didn't know why (since I've been driving for 10 years) but I realized that the windows and side mirrors were really dirty and my vision was really limited.

Mat and I decided to drive to IKEA today but first we stopped at a car wash. The car next to our was this immaculately clean black Mercedes, of course. Love Los Angeles! Even the store at the car wash was trendy. The ones in NY just sell car fresheners and expired Twix bars. This one had Papyrus greeting cards and soy candles. It's like they put a Paper Source in the middle of a 7-11.

I never really realized how big LA was until I drove on the freeways. I had to keep driving from one freeway to another to get to the IKEA in the Valley. It was just such a vast landscape with so many highways. It felt good driving here, though. After doing so, it is obvious that we need a car ASAP. I'll be really sad when we have to give this car up. By the way, driving here is not as scary as people make it sound. If you can drive in New Jersey, you can drive in LA.

We picked up some $7 Lack tables and a TV stand. Mat's mom was wonderful enough to buy us a TV, which will be here next week. I am really excited to set everything up. We are almost done with furniture. I still want to get a small dining set and some chairs for the patio but they can wait.

Yesterday I bought some of those Sally Hanson "wax" strips. I tried to wax my legs myself. It was just a hot mess. Hardly any hair came out and it left behind a sticky residue that made me look really dirty. Even after scrubbing, there's still some of it on me. Don't buy this product. Buy a bottle of wine instead. After a couple of glasses, you won't care how hairy your legs are.

That's it for now. I'm going to go lie down. Here is a pic of my cats (Rocky on the left, Sophie on the right) in their brand new collars, looking out the screen door. They're not as miserable in them as I thought they'd be. Sophie isn't happy with me but she never is. She'll get used to it.

The Dangers of LA

I'm sure you all heard about the two earthquakes that occurred this week. I did not feel either of them but quite a few people did. They weren't very big quakes but Mathew did tell me that when he was a kid, they had an insanely intense earthquake. It ended up killing his friend's parakeet or something. Okay, I guess I'm not doing a good job at making it sound that bad. It's a little scary to know that we are in such an unpredictable area. We can't have pictures over the bed or shelves without doors because everything can fall during a quake and break and/or injure us. Fun!

There are also coyotes in my neighborhood. One of them ate 2 house cats last week. I feel very badly for the elderly woman to whom the cats belonged. HOWEVER, I am very against letting your pets go outside unsupervised in an urban or even suburban area. They can easily get lost, stolen, hit by a car, or apparently eaten by a coyote. I have never seen a coyote (other than a baby coyote on Conan O'Brien's show) so I have no idea how big they are. We keep our cats indoors but if God forbid they ever got out and a coyote came after them, I would literally strangle it to death with my bare hands. I don't even give a fuck. I am that hardcore and that much of a cat lady.

Speaking of which, since we are no longer in an apartment building where the cats would have to get through an apartment door, down stairs, and through a building door to get out, I ordered them breakaway reflector collars with their names and my phone number on them. I got embroidered ones so we don't have to worry about their tags getting stuck on anything. Plus, they've never worn collars other than the calming collars on the plane so I'm sure the tags would make the collars even more obnoxious than they're already going to be.

I had a lot to get done yesterday but I did absolutely none of it because I was feeling very under the weather. I think I had a fever and was just really sweaty and worn out. I could barely get out of bed. I broke out in a fever sweat just trying to get dressed, and not just because I'm lazy and out of shape. I'm hoping today is better because I need to pick up an enormously heavy palate of prescription cat food from the vet (Try not to be too impressed with my exciting itinerary).

If you are my Facebook friend, you might have heard the news that I am going to be taking an Intro to Improv class at a very well-renowned improv studio. I am super excited and if I like the class, I will be signing up for the 7-week course as a birthday gift to myself. We shall see.

I also started running again but that's not too exciting. I'm out of practice and I have bad asthma and my boobs are probably too big to run with so I look like a hot mess whenever I do it. I literally cringe whenever another runner passes me. I miss running in Fort Greene park. That was the best place to run ever. My gym membership through Mat's job should be coming through soon so I'll also get to do yoga again which is nice.

It's 2:30AM and I still feel like shit so I'm going to try to lie down. Here is a pic of the coyote warning sign I saw on Wilshire this evening.

Hello Again

Happy day after Labor Day! It's been a little while since I've written so get ready for a long and stupid entry. Nothing exciting has been going on. I've been crocheting and writing a lot of handwritten letters like some sort of Amish person. If you email me or even leave a voicemail, it's a miracle if I remember to respond but I will write the shit out of some letter responses.

Part of the reason I didn't update is that I wanted to address the fact that Mathew was on a business trip Thursday morning through Monday afternoon and I don't like to advertise the fact that I'm a small girl alone in an apartment for 4 days. Call me crazy but it's just a thing I have.

He was in Seattle and I had to fend for myself. Being that I have almost no friends yet, it was not easy. What's even harder is that I don't really sleep anymore. I don't know what it is but I just don't feel tired anymore. The only thing that makes me sleepy is spending the day at a beach but I don't have the patience to do that every single day.

The good thing about being alone was that I didn't want to go out to eat on my own so I cooked and by "cooked", I mean I made salads because I'm afraid of the oven. I ate healthily but had no one to brag about it to so it had its ups and downs. Come on, middle-class white girls. Don't even act like you eat salads for any reason other than to brag to your friends that you eat salads.

It's weird spending so many nights alone. In Brooklyn, when Mat was gone for that month and a half, I had a large circle of friends that I got to hang out with whenever we wanted on top of working 2 jobs during the day. I was busy all the time and the nights that I stayed in we're actually a relief because I needed rest. Now if there's even a chance of me going out, I practically break out a bottle of champagne.

Mat and I went to a hip sausage restaurant tonight (don't worry, they make vegan sausages, too) with Sara and her boyfriend, Sam. It was nice to be in a conversation with other humans. I'm hoping that I can find a job soon because that means I can take improv classes and that means I might meet people and that means I won't feel like Quasimodo in the church tower every day.

I have also started looking into purchasing a car, which is a task in itself because I know nothing about cars. I had to call my dad and ask how to buy a used car so that's a pretty bad sign. I've been asking advice from people who know about cars and plenty of people who don't know about cars respond instead. My friend Sarah's boyfriend was the most helpful, being that he is one of the few people who does actually know about buying cars. I should also mention that I asked my dad how many miles is too many on a car so, you know, I'm working with some top notch knowledge of my own.

It's almost 1AM so I'll end this here and go crochet while watching reruns of trashy reality TV. I am enclosing a picture of my new neon fanny pack that I use to run with. I guess this means I'll be exercising again. I refused to run through my neighborhood without some clothing item that could give someone a migraine so now I can finally start again. Are you excited for me? Don't be; I'm bad at it. I might be funny to watch though.

Goodnight.

Still Up

My sleeping schedule has been getting worse and worse. Since most of my friends are in New York and 3 hours ahead of me, I really have no one to talk to for hours and hours. Mathew sleeps at a normal hour and he is usually waking up when I'm going to sleep.

Anyway, today I went to Venice Beach with Mat's (and now my) friend Sara. She needed some cheap sunglasses so she swung by and picked me up on her way. There are a lot of interesting sunglasses in Venice. I wish I had thought to take pics of them. Some of them had boobs and penises, some had bows and whiskers, some had gold chains, and some just had stuff on the lenses so you couldn't even see out of them properly. They have deals like 3 pairs for $9.99. I saw a sweet pair of goggles that I am definitely considering. I want to stop tearing from the wind while riding my bike and I also want to look like Seth Green in "Can't Hardly Wait."

We got sushi, walked around, and just hung out. Venice is definitely my favorite place in LA so far. It's like Santa Monica's weird hippie uncle.

Since the traffic in LA is deplorable, she dropped me off at about 3:30 or so and I took a nap. I've been pretty good about not napping all the time but the beach always takes it out of me.

I suppose I should get some sleep. Here is a picture of the awesome synagogue we saw on the Venice boardwalk. So many great jokes, so little time.

Malibu to Venice

It was so exciting to see Shirley and Azmat yesterday. They picked me up around 12:45PM and we headed along PCH 1 to Malibu. Malibu is absolutely gorgeous. The water is really pretty and the beaches are empty and pristine.

We stopped along the highway to eat at a restaurant overlooking the water. It was really pretty. Sitting a few feet from us was Bethany Joy Lenz from the show "One Tree Hill." To be honest, Shirl and Azmat had to tell me who she was because I've never seen that show but it was cool to know someone semi famous was there. I also liked her outfit a lot and I might buy the pants she was wearing the next time I'm in Venice.

We parked along the highway and made our way down a steep hill of rocks and dirt to get to the beach. In retrospect, if we had walked 50 feet back, we would have found a less treacherous way to get down there. Despite the dangerous climb down, no one was seriously injured and it was gorgeous. The beach was virtually empty. There were only a few others near us and it was very quiet. The water was cold so there wasn't anyone swimming in it but there were some sunbathers.

On our way back south along the highway, there was a very serious car accident so the traffic was backed up really far. We decided to take a detour so we turned left at whatever street was next to try to bypass it. We ended up going to the very top of the Malibu hills along a very curvy and long road. We were so high up at some point that our ears were popping. It took forever and we were going up and down and through mountainous terrain. I'm posting a picture of the view but no picture really captured how far up we were or how amazing the view was. The detour was really long but definitely worth the time because I got to see a lot of California that I wouldn't have gotten a view of otherwise.

When we got back down, we drove to Venice so I could show them the boardwalk area. We tried to go to the freak show but unfortunately it was closed. Luckily, 70% of Venice Beach is a freak show anyway. There was a guy driving around on a motorized bike pulling around a cart with dog wearing sunglasses in it. There was also a guy in one of the bathroom stalls that was either suffering from tuberculosis or he just wasn't good at smoking because he was coughing up a lung in there. There are a few bathrooms that I absolutely refuse to go in and that was one of them.

We sat along the shore in Venice and the people next to us were wearing their socks in the sand. It looked really weird but it sort of made sense in Venice.

I was sad to see my friends leave but I was exhausted by the time I got home and I practically passed out for an hour. I think it'll be a while before someone else comes to visit but if anyone can squeeze a trip in, they are more than welcome to stop by.

Here are some pics of Malibu. One is the view from the shore, one is of the view from the Malibu hills, and one is the view of the water from the restaurant.

List of Fun Stuff

Good evening/morning. I tried for a while to sleep but I was obviously not successful. We watched the last 2012 episode of Breaking Bad so maybe it's all that excitement.

Some fun happenings lately:
1. My friend from Brooklyn, John, stopped by my neighborhood on Sunday to get some coffee and catch up. It was so nice to see a familiar face, especially one from someone awesome. It was the first time I showed a friend my apartment as well. It's really coming along and I was proud to showcase the new furniture.

2. One of my best friends in the whole world since I was a baby, Shirley, and her boyfriend are visiting me tomorrow. I am so excited, I cannot even tell you. I am going to show them around Santa Monica and we will possibly drive up to Malibu, which is cool because I have never seen it before but I hear that it's very beautiful. I wanted to avoid mentioning the Hole song about it since it was so terrible but it cannot be ignored.

3. My next door neighbors, a young couple who just moved in and are really nice, just adopted a 3-month-old kitten and Mathew and I got to meet him yesterday. He is the cutest thing in the whole world. He purrs louder than a motor and gives kisses like a dog. I hope they're okay with me moving in because leaving their apartment was a struggle.

4. Although not as awesome as the last 3, we finally got a lamp and we have a plan for the coffee tables we are going to get. We found an affordable furniture store really close to the apartment, which is where we got the lamp, and we are going to consider getting a dining set there as well.

5. I finally got my period. I know you were wondering so I'll give you some fun details on my uterus. I haven't had it in months because I have the menstrual cycle of a 14-year-old, so this one's gonna be a doozy. Cramps and PMS galore.

6. You can watch Spongebob Squarepants episodes for free with Amazon Prime. My favorite episode is incidentally the only one that didn't work properly on Netflix so after 3 years of disappointment, I got to watch it. I made Mat sit through it with me and we were both practically peeing ourselves so it was a super win.

7. My dad sent my acoustic guitar via UPS and it got here Friday. I was glad to see it. If you were wondering, the first song I played on the guitar in Los Angeles was "Horse With No Name" by America. If you had any hopes for me having any iota of coolness in me, I'm sure I just shattered it for you. Sorry.

I'm going to continue crocheting and maybe attempt at getting some sleep. Here is a photo of my lamp, one of my neighbors' kitten, Simba, and one of Mat's alma mater, which was also the high school used in the show 7th Heaven. A fun fact is that the mascot used to be the Warriors (like my high school) but the producers of 7th Heaven paid them to switch mascots to the Wildcats to make it easier for the show's production.

Okay, Okay

Here is a better entry. It's almost 2AM and I am awake so I'll update you on what's going on with my life in LA.

I opened a checking account and went to the DMV for my California license. It will be coming in 2 weeks. I am sad that I won't be using a picture of myself at 16 for an ID but it's time to move on, I suppose. California ID requires that you put your weight on there. Ugh. I hate lying to the government.

We are still working on decorating. We need a floor lamp very badly and I refuse to go another week without one. We are considering a small dining table since we have more room than I thought we did. We didn't have a dining table in Brooklyn and I couldn't stand it. I felt like I was living in a dorm. We also want a bench for the patio. I am really enjoying the sliding glass door. I leave it open all day with just the screen closed. It cools the apartment and the cats love sitting in front of it and keeping guard.

A lot of my clothes and all of my shoes arrived, thanks to my wonderful dad, and I somehow managed to fit it all in my closet with some room to spare. I spent all day yesterday cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry like a regular June Cleaver.

I met one of my neighbors and he gave me a lot of good ideas for fun stuff to do in LA. I still miss NYC a lot, though. I don't dislike LA but it doesn't feel like home. Maybe it's all the white people.

Here is a pic of my progress on the afghan so far. I am very proud of it. It is currently 50" in width and 26" in length. I am aiming for 70" in length. Sophie is just chilling next to it on our new couch with a decorative pillow we bought at Ross for $8 last night.

Someone have a baby when I'm done with this afghan so I can crochet or knit you a baby blanket. I don't want to interact with the baby, though. Let's keep this professional.

Grr

Sorry I haven't been writing. I have PMS. The end.